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My 40 Before 40 List

Many years ago when I was a year and change away from turning 30, I compiled a 30 before 30 list. I found it was a great exercise in reminding myself to explore and stay curious. Now that I am within spitting distance of turning 40 (Summer ‘22), I feel the urge to draw up a list again.

The focus of this list is less about big ticket experiences (okay, there’s one- see #40) and more of a continuation of that original list. It’s a reminder to explore and stay curious and also to ignite connection and creativity.

Lists are one of my simple pleasures in life. The satisfaction of crossing off an item never gets old, and to kick this list off, I can already put a line through one item! I highly recommend this strategy to any of you contemplating your own 40 before 40 list (or 20 before 20, 70 before 70, etc.) as it really amps up your motivation.

My previous list included such experiences as watching an MMA fight, eating an ostrich egg and attending a Baha’i gathering at the North America Baha’i temple location. This list is no less random, and I am so thrilled to get started…so, let’s get started!


1.       Learn to make croissants / while unlikely to become a weekend ritual, I can imagine the satisfaction in being able to talk lamination from actual experience

2.       Master the perfect pancake recipe + execution / this is something that has stumped me for years. I consistently make just “okay” pancakes, and inevitably, they’re slightly burned. I am mostly motivated to do this for my children’s approval.

3.       Eat a starfruit / not sure how I got this far in life without trying one of these, but I have procrastinated long enough! The time for bravery is now.

4.       Try geo duck / these phallic little sea creatures are big in my PNW neck of the woods. I love seafood, so let’s fry these guys up and see what the fuss is about!

5.       Go camping with my kids / I spent many a childhood weekend with my Dad and brothers going camping, and they’re among my favorite memories. My kids deserve to experience feeling rocks under them while they sleep and watching their Mama curse while trying to pitch a tent.

6.       Have a professional Family Photo Shoot / yup! I’m a little sentimental like that. Our family went through a big change this past year, and I want to capture our little trio in this moment in time.

7.       Visit Casa Delphine in San Miguel de Allende / my friend Amanda Keidan opened a boutique hotel in Mexico a few years ago catering to the creative set, and I’ve been dying to visit ever since. Who’s with me?

8.       Visit the Redwood forest / it’s a 9 hour drive from Seattle, so I’m seriously considering making this a road trip with my kids as well.

9.       Visit Austin or New Orleans / how have I not visited these iconic cities yet?! I am looking for all the recommendations.

10.   Go on a yoga retreat / I’ll probably come back a much better person. You’ve been warned.

11.   Plant a cutting garden / here it is- the item on this list that I can check off before I even get started. This is one of the more bougie things I’ve set out to do, but hey, #40 on my list has one, so…

12.   Write a book of poems / this feels vulnerable. I won’t likely be publishing this, but I do want to pull together a collection of what I’ve written thus far as well as add some new ones.

13.   Create a work of art that I’m proud of / ever since I won a box of crayons for ‘messiest drawing’ at the age of three, I’ve had my artistic insecurities. It’s redemption time!

14.   Make encaustic art / this is a medium I have always been facinated by, but I will likely burn myself. At least it’ll be a cool injury origin story.

15.   Take a flower arranging class / I love flowers and greenery, but I confess, I choose blooms that are foolproof to arrange. Time to level up.

16.   Take singing lessons / if for no other reason than to casually exceed expectations while singing in the car on a road trip with friends.

17.   Paint a self portrait / this feels narcissistic, but the before and after with the one I did when I was 9 should be interesting.

18.   Learn how to use a jigsaw / I need to cut a 2” square notch in a shelf, so this is a very practical goal/life skill. Calling a handyman for it feels excessive.

19.   Try a pilates reformer class / it just occured to me that I’ve already done this, but I’ll block it out so I can expereince it anew.

20.   Do 10 regular pushups / I used to hold records for upper body strength in grade school. Now? I can only do 3…how the mighty have fallen.

21.   Take a trapeze/aerial arts lesson / I’m terrified of heights, maybe I should rethink this?

22.   Ride my bike on a city street / I guess bravery is a theme here.

23.   Ride in a seaplane / little planes are a little terrifying, but I live in Seattle. It’s a rite of passage.

24.   Beneath the streets tour / I’ve been thinking about doing this since I moved to Seattle four years ago. It’s time. It’s past time.

25.   Go to a rage room / I am not an angry person, but breaking things with impunity? Oh the power trip!

26.   Eat at Canlis / I’ve done nothing to deserve a dinner here, but maybe learning how to use a jigsaw will be cause for celebration.

27.   Escape room / I feel like this would be a great third date idea. See how they handle themselves under pressure in an enclosed space.

28.   Thermage facial treatment or some other GOOP approved treatment / expensive curiosity I guess?

29.   Wake up to watch a sunrise / I’ve done this in the past, but it bears repeating. It’s such an intentional act to purposely set your alarm for an ungodly hour just to experience the first ray of sunlight.

30.   Spend an entire day in silence / no technology, no music, no TV…probably a couple of naps.

31.   Volunteer for Habitat for Humanity / it’ll give me a chance to use my newly minted jigsaw skills.

32.   Check out the San Juan Islands / I want to watch all the whales.

33.   Make a will / morbid but necessary. Maybe if I put it on this list, I will actually do it.

34.   Volunteer at the Seattle Humane Society / pre-kids I was heavily into canine volunteering. I miss those fuzzy little weirdos.

35.   Read Malcom Gladwell’s The Tipping Point / there are too many conversational references to this book. I feel left out.

36.   Visit a cat café / this is just bizarre, but it will also double as my kitty obsessed daughter’s birthday outing.

37.   Watch a burlesque show / if only for the costume ideas.

38.   Soak in a natural hot spring / doesn’t that sound delightful?!

39.   Take a blacksmithing class / old timey skills that will never come in handy.

40. Meet Ina Garten / had to have one shoot for the moon item. I love her so much.


Which of these would you want to try? And have you ever done a list like this?

With love,

Steph