If you’ve got some tension with your family, you may already be on board with this post and ready for the validation herein, but if you’re like me and talk to your Mama daily, have a text chain with your siblings filled with equal parts shit talk and humorous anecdotes and facetime with your kids on the regular with their Grandparents, then you’re probably wondering “what’s in this for me?”

You’re not seeing your friends or family this year for the holidays, and yes, that’s very sad. I feel you hard on this one, but let’s reframe here and bring Kevin McCallister to the mic for a moment. In Home Alone- the 1990 classic Christmas film, he wakes to find his entire family has vanished and slowly it registers in his 8 year-old mind “I made my family disappear!”

…And then he buys fabric softener and does laundry, eats a large cheese pizza all by himself, sets intricately engineered booby traps and avoids having his fingers bitten off because he overcame his fears and talked to a scary old neighbor who had his back. His self-esteem sky rocketed AND his relationship with his family was better than ever upon their eventual reunion.

Following young Kevin’s lead, let’s buck up and turn that frown upside down. Here are a few reasons why being home alone for Christmas is not the worst thing.

1) Eat yo’ (favorite) food. Anything goes this year, literally anything. You want the full-on holiday dinner? Good on you, but for those who start sweating the moment December 1 rolls around thinking about slaving away in the kitchen all day to make family recipes that no one really likes anyway, this is your time to shine. Fried chicken and all sorts of slutty sides? Copious amounts of all your favorite snack foods? Dessert for every course? A raw bar because you’re fancy and you managed to hold on to your job this year? Do it your way because you don’t have to answer to anyone, and oysters are delicious.

2) Zero cleanup required. Zoom is barely clocking enough pixels to make out that it’s you, let alone broadcasting to your Mother the dust on your coffee table and the piles of laundry in the frame. If you love a clean house, knock yourself out, but if you don’t get around to it, no one will know your dirty little secret.

3) No extra gifts. My family of origin, plus significant others, is responsible for just one big gift for one person, but if we’ve got the extended family coming over- all those extra gifts start piling up: Cousins, Aunts + Uncles, random friends of the family that you don’t want to feel left out- it can start to feel pretty freaking stressful. Upside of socially isolating this time of year? Out of sight, out of mind. So treat yo’ self (with my 2020 gift guides), or save those dollars.

4) New Traditions. You may love your family with all your heart, but have been feeling stifled by the expectation of flag football where you always end up wet and cold, caroling with your drunk Uncle who thinks it’s funny to stuff his beer belly into elf tights and a holiday tunic or attending midnight mass when all you really want to attend to is your food bloated walrus body sprawled out in front of the fire. New traditions might include never drinking eggnog again, dancing to electro pop with the lights out and the glowsticks on and going to bed early with a plate of Santa’s cookies because you can be disgusting when no one is watching.

5) Dressing up is cancelled. I still feel itchy when I think of all the Christmases I spent rearranging my uncomfortable tights and flaunting form flitting velvet with a preppy Christmas motif. No more! 2020 is the permission we all need to rock jeans and a tee, your jammies or be bold and wear a unicorn suit just for the FaceTime reaction.

Which of these reasons resonates with you? And who wants a FaceTime visit from Mistletoe the holiday unicorn?

With love,

Steph

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