How to Stay Connected (and sane) During the Pandemic
I think even the introverts amongst us can agree that we’ve had a little too much time apart lately. Attempting to remain positive and energized while siloed on our little pandemic islands (pods, bubbles, whatever you want to call them) is an exercise in fighting the human urge to connect in a time of crisis.
I have friends and family members in varying levels of isolation. On one end I have a friend with an immunocompromised child, and there is almost no connection with the outside world save a few visits in the driveway and some quick curbside pickups for the essentials, and on the other I have friends who have hopped on planes to visit loved ones, go out to eat at restaurants and hang out indoors with trusted friends or family members.
My kids and I land somewhere on the looser side by virtue of their in person attendance at a local school, which has allowed me to continue working largely uninterrupted by repeated asks for snacks, art project assistance or stories without an end (or a beginning or middle for that matter). This has done wonders for my productivity, but the lack of human connection was the biggest hit to me personally when this all began.
I’d like to share a few things that have worked for me…and I would love to hear what’s kept your relationships alive during this time.
Backyard/outdoor hangs. This one was a game changer for me. At first I was like a wobbly newborn foal, awkwardly trying out social graces 6’ apart, no hugging and wondering if I could serve a drink without gloving up first. Gradually, I became more comfortable and confident that the abundant airflow was keeping the risk low, I was finally able to comfortably form sentences and I offered treats and drinks with confidence after a good hand wash.
The pressure to have a clean house or a fabulous meal prepared is now off, and in it’s place a realness in the form of BYOB, whatever snacks you have laying around and a genuine appreciation for connecting with the person you’re engaging with. Along with some low key snacks, make sure you have a few places to sit, and now that it’s fall, grab a patio heater and/or some extra cozy blankets like the one below that I have in my own backyard set up.
Zoom/FaceTime dates/hangs. Early on when lockdown was in place, I tapped back into technology that had existed pre-COVID (congrats to all the Zoom stockholders out there!). There was something fun and novel about hanging out with friends from the comfort of my living room…alone. It was, and still is, an opportunity to be joyful in a completely wacko stressful time. My favorite aspect of the whole thing was pitching it as a game night and then spending 95% of the time talking, laughing, strategizing about remote learning or debating who cried more that week.
Zoom playdates for kids. I loved doing this early on with my 6-year-old and his friends. On the suggestion of my sister-in-law, I had the kids use the whiteboard feature to play games, draw pictures together or try to guess what the other was drawing (challenging for 6-year-old art). They were delighted, and I felt like a tech wizard.
Group driveway hangs. This could also work in an apartment courtyard. It’s an easy way to have a slightly larger group of acquaintances or neighbors get together, that you may not feel totally comfortable inviting to the intimacy of your backyard/rooftop deck/balcony. This is especially helpful to those of you who are new to a neighborhood or block and are finding it difficult to meet new friends. Throw a few flyers in neighbors’ mailboxes or just ask a neighbor or two that you’ve met to come and invite other neighbors or friends.
Give, give, give. With all the stress 2020 has unloaded on us, giving might feel like the very last thing you can manage. Do it anyway. The “Helper’s High” has been proven in studies to confer the following benefits:
- Lower blood pressure
- Increase self esteem
- Lessen depression
- Lower stress levels
- Live longer
- Increase happiness
This mode of connecting can be achieved in all sorts of ways, and brings you closer to your friends, family and community.
Some ideas to try are:
- Make a meal
- Drop off a bottle of wine, some seasonal tea or a tasty treat
- Create a care package for out of state loved ones (try filling it with local treats, a journal, a picture frame with a photo of you and your loved one prior to the world crashing down and maybe a candle that smells like job security mixed with a unified country)
- Share a book you love that provides an escape
- Foster an animal, or just skip the tearful goodbye and adopt the damn thing
- Write funny/touching/heart felt emails or letters. Bonus points for adding toddler art and asking the recipient to guess what it is.
- Donate to your favorite causes. $5 or $5000. Put that generous vibe out into the world.
- Give understanding. Everyone is dealing with this time in their own unique way, and you may not love the way that looks. Love them anyway.
I’m so glad you’re here, and I hope you’re taking care of yourself during this insanity. Leave your best ideas in the comments, so we can all give them a try.
With love,
Steph
