What Does Home Mean to You?
Photo by Emily Corley on Unsplash
I have been contemplating the idea of home lately. Where it is. Who it encompasses. What it means to me personally.
Our physical homes have become everything this year. A place to live, work, parent, love, cry, entertain ourselves, drive us to madness and bring us clarity on the things that matter. Home has never been more important, held more meaning or had more of an impact on society collectively than it has during this insane year.
Coming off a divorce this January, home has weighed more heavily on my mind as I consider not only my own thoughts and desires around the word, but those of my children. Growing up in a two-parent home, where I lived in the same house from the age of 5 and where my parents still reside gave me an ultra stable and concrete notion of the word home. It was the cookie cutter perfect definition of the word, and yet, when given the opportunity I ran for the coasts to find myself, and my new definition of home.
It wasn’t until I had my own children, that I began to feel the instinctual pull to be near my original tribe and home. I missed my parents, my brothers, my sisters-in-law, nieces and nephew and childhood best friends (who had also scattered across the country) with a deep ache that left me with a hollow feeling at times. Regardless of the beautiful home and life I was building with my then husband and children, I had a hard time settling in. The safe, foundational and familiar suburbs of Chicago were a siren call in my darkest moments of loneliness. I just wanted to be “home”.
As my life has transitioned from a family of four to a family of three, my physical home and my sense of home have changed and shifted as well. I realize that in order to move forward and to establish a new sense of home for myself and my children, I need to let go of this singular ideal I have in my head.
My children will not have the same definition of home, and I at once grieve that and also understand that this is a pivotal moment for me and us. I can redefine, accept and embrace a new definition, and in doing so, support my children in embracing their own unique security around the word, or I can remain stuck- mourning a life that I am not leading and missing the opportunity to create something new and wonderful.
You can define home in many ways- a location, a physical structure, people, a feeling of safety and security- and it’s different for everyone. It’s also wherever, whenever and with whomever you feel loved and supported. When I pause and zero in on that, it’s so clear to me that I am endlessly at home, surrounded by love and support.
I am not quite done grieving the ideal, but I can see the way forward. Part of that path is creating a space of love and support with this blog. Ushering you, my reader, into my “home” to the extent that it becomes your home as well.
Connection is really at the heart of this idea, and I’m so interested in how you define home. What does it mean for you? Location, physical structure, people? Something completely different? Share with us in the comments.
With love,
Steph
